Opinion | Give the kids candy — healthy snacks should be banned this Halloween - Toronto Star

The world is scary. Kids deserve a memorable Halloween weekend.

“In a year of parental doomscrolling, raisins should be contraband,” writes Vinay Menon.

Vinay Menon is the Star’s pop culture columnist based in Toronto. Reach him via email: vmenon@thestar.ca

Every night has felt like Halloween this spooky year.

Whistleblowers are warning we are summoning a demon with AI. Governments around the world this week called for citizens to stockpile critical supplies in the event of a ghoulish disaster. Vivek Ramaswamy’s smarmy mug is scarier than Ghostface. Mark Carney just released the first new Canadian national security plan in more than 20 years because, as he notes, “threats once thought distant are now immediate and proximate.”

And, somewhere, a werewolf howls under a full moon.

This is why the kids deserve a memorable Halloween this weekend.

Saturday’s forecast calls for a high of 14. Don’t tell me climate change is not real. I remember trick-or-treating and feeling like I was hunting for Aero and Coffee Crisp in the Antarctic. Children this weekend won’t have their Spider-Man and Dumpling costumes spoiled by a mom-mandated parka.

So give them a full-sized candy bar. Or a bunch of minis. Just give.

The older I get, the more I look forward to All Hallows’ Eve. When I walked to my voting station for Monday’s election, what a joy to behold the tombstones, witches, spiderwebs, skulls, coffins and black cats. I recalled navigating the same streets with my young twin daughters. They were thrilled to be dressed as bunnies and lambs while prowling in the dark.

Haunted houses somehow make the real world seem less scary.

So let’s get to the point: no healthy snacks this Halloween.

Yes, I fully expect my inbox to fill up with indignant notes from dentists and clementine farmers. The Babybel people won’t be happy when I say sticking googly eyes to a wax coated wheel of cheese is not a treat — it’s an abomination.

The kids want candy. This year feels like a cemetery séance. Give them candy.

You can go all out on porch decorations and 12-foot lawn inflatables. You can carve a pumpkin to be a dead ringer for Doug Ford. You can play creepy sounds and run a fog machine. You can hold a flashlight under your chin. But if all of that ends with giving a third-grader a Boo-nana or Pretzel Broomstick, congrats, you just failed Halloween 2026.

In a year of parental doomscrolling, raisins should be contraband. The children have earned a bounty of empty calories. Reward them with Kit Kat, Smarties, Caramilk, Sour Patch Kids, Twix, M&Ms, Skittles, Starburst, Jolly Ranchers, Mars, Snickers, Hershey’s, Mr. Big, Almond Joy, Butterfinger, Wunderbar, Oh Henry!

The little goblins, vampires and princesses may have no clue about inflation or trade wars. They do not know Ontario’s deficit just hit a record $16.9 billion. They can’t process the suddenly very real possibility of World War III or an extinction event. They don’t know their parents fret over interest rates or the price of gas.

But children are like dogs — they can sense anxiety.

So spoil them rotten this weekend. Fill their plastic jack-o’-lanterns and pillow sacks with enough sugary treats to drop a rhino. Consider this preadolescent backpay for a generation that is inheriting an ominous world.

Consider it an investment disguised in a chocolate wrapper. That generous handful of Tootsie Rolls and Chupa Chups may create a fond and lasting memory for tomorrow’s nurses, teachers, cops, lawyers, accountants …

A recent Leger survey found that 48 per cent of Canadian households plan to dish out candy this year. Not bad. Closer to 80 per cent would be better. But this just means those of us who are participating need to put more fake blood into the effort. I’m happy to put on my alien mask and give double doses of chocolate to make up for the killjoys who will turn off their porch lights and go out for dinner to avoid doorbell rings from evil clowns and hell-hounds.

Halloween should be the opposite of a wellness retreat. If we can’t give costumed kids one night to stroll around the neighbourhood in search of a sugar high, perhaps we are the real monsters. And, no, candy corn does not count. Neither does a fruit cup. Or mini cucumber.

On this Halloween, in this grim reaper of a year, healthy snacks are a hate crime.

Another reason to do it up? Halloween falls on a Saturday this year. Daylight Saving Time ends on Sunday. There is no school the day after Halloween, no lunches to pack at 7 a.m. No need to fear how one too many Maynard Swedish Berries may interfere with schedules due to glitchy hyperactivity.

Give the ghosts gumballs. Peppermint Patties for the Pikachus. Any kid who comes to my door in a mocking Donald Trump costume gets an entire box of treats. Those are the rules and they are binding.

Happy Halloween. The carrot skeletons can wait until Sunday.

Opinion articles are based on the author’s interpretations and judgments of facts, data and events. More details

Vinay Menon is the Star’s pop culture columnist based in Toronto. Reach him via email: vmenon@thestar.ca